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Running Rabbit

A little rabbit is happily running through the forest when he stumbles
upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit looks at her and says,
"Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Come with me running through
the forest, you'll see, you'll feel so much better!" The giraffe looks
at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the
rabbit.

Then they come across an elephant doing coke, so the rabbit again
says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your
health. Come running with us through the pretty forest, you'll see,
you'll feel so good!" The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor,
mirror and all, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit
and giraffe.

The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up... "Lion
my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! ... Come
running with us through the sunny forest, you will feel so good!" The
lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and starts to beat the shit
out of the little rabbit. As the giraffe and elephant watch in horror,
they look at him and ask, "Lion, why did you do this? ... He was
merely trying to help us all!"

The lion answers, "That little f**ker! He makes me run around the
forest like an idiot for hours whenever he does ecstasy!"

Kamasutra for IT Guys

Tarzan

When Jane initially met Tarzan in the jungle, she was attracted to
him,and during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had
sex?

"Tarzan not know sex" he replied.

Jane explained to him what sex was.

Tarzan said "Oh, Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree."

Horrified Jane said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I will show
you how to do it properly." She took off her clothing and lay down on
the ground. Here" she said, pointing to her privates, "you must put it
in here."

Tarzan removed his loincloth, showing Jane his considerable manhood,
stepped closer to her and kicked her in the crotch!

Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity.

Eventually she managed to gasp for air and screamed "What did you do that for?"

Tarzan replied, "Check for squirrel."