Sardarji Jokes

Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai, ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?" . Sardarji replies "Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun"

One great day in Bombay, a couple were on a honeymoon tour. They saw one sardarji in front of a hospital (Breach Candy) was trying to fill some form. So the couple enquired eagerly "What are you doing ?" Sardarji replied that I had a baby and I am filling the birth certificate form. The couple as per schedule, took the Bombay to Delhi Flight for their next destination. On the next day, they find the same Sardarji, in front of Lal Qilla in Delhi filling the same form. So once again young couple curiously asked - "What are you doing here?" Sardarji once again replied I had a baby and I am filling the birth certificate form. The couple said but sardarji yesterday you were in Bombay filling the same form, how come you're in Delhi? Sardarji cooly replied It is written here - "FILL IN CAPITALS

Once, a Hindu, a Sardar and an American were travelling in an aeroplane. Suddenly, something went wrong and the engines stalled. They had no parachutes with them. So all the three of them decided to risk their lives and jump out of their planes.
First, the Sardar jumped out. He removed his turban, used it as a parachute and jumped. Using the turban he slowly floated down. Then the Hindu removed his dhoti and jumped out. Again his dhoti acted as a parachute and he also floated down gently. Seeing this, the American removed his shirt and pant and jumped out.
Unfortunately, they did not do well as a parachute and he began to fall rapidly from the plane to the ground. He passed by the Hindu who said - " May Bhagwan help you".
Then he passed the Sardar. The Sardar looked at the American zooming past him and was puzzled. So he said - "I see! You want a race! Let us see who is faster" Saying so, he let go of his turban.

Surjit Singh saw that his friend Baljit Singh was very depressed. "What happened?" asked Surjit. "Yaar, I lost Rs. 800 in a bet yesterday . " "How come ?" "Well, yesterday, the one-day match between India and England was being shown live on TV.I bet Rs.500 that India would win, but I lost the bet." " But that's only Rs. 500, where did the rest go?" " Yaar, I bet on the highlights too."

An Englishman, an American and a Sardarji are called upon to test a lie detector. The Englishman says: "I think I can empty 20 bottles of beer". BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector. "Ok", he says, "10 bottles". And the machine is silent.
The American says: "I think I can eat 15 hamburgers". BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector. "Allright, 8 hamburgers". And the machine's silent.
The Sardarji says: "I think...", BUZZZZZZ goes the machine.

Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination which consists of Y/N type questions. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answersheet - Y for Heads and N for Tails. Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out.
During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "Oye, I finished the exam in half and hour". "But yaar", he says, "I am rechecking my answers and am not able to tally them with what I wrote."

A sardar from Delhi had an old car which had run for over a 1,00,000 kilometres. He wanted to sell it, but was not getting a good price because of its excess mileage. He approached a Madrasi friend of his and asked for help. The Madrasi gave him an address in Chennai (Madras) and asked him to visit a mechanic there. The mechanic would adjust the meter so that it shows only 30,000 kilometres.
The sardar thanked him and left for Madras. For a few days, the Madrasi didn't see the sardar. He assumed that the sardar would have sold the car. A few weeks later, the sardar came to see the Madrasi in the same car. The Madrasi was surprised and asked - "What happened? Why have you not sold your car yet?"
The sardar replied - "Why should I? It has run for only 30,000 kilometres."

Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.
How can you tell when a Sardar sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.
Why can't a Sardar dial 911?
They can not find the eleven on the phone
How do you get Sardar on the roof?
Tell him the drinks are on the house.
"Oh, look at the dead bird."
Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where?"
What do Smart Sardar and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them but you never see them.
Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snow-man as opposed to a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.